When life takes a different direction than we planned…

Coming About ~ When life takes a different direction than we planned…

This week’s Bublish book bubble is an excerpt that includes part of a family sailing day, when Bruce takes Alexa and the kids out on his beautiful sailboat and temporary home, Belle Étoile (which means Beautiful Star and refers to an old fairy tale involving a quest.) I thought I’d share the intro here as a blog post, since it says a lot about the book, my life, why I write and where my stories come from.

When I write my novels, they are in no real way autobiographical, but I think most authors put bits and pieces of themselves in their story. The things they’ve seen and done, the places they’ve been, the people they’ve known. Sailing on the West Coast of BC (Canada) has always been a big part of my life, as a student, a recent graduate, a newlywed and a wife and mother. We’ve sold our boat now, but weekend and summer sailing trips in Howe Sound, Georgia Strait and among the Gulf Islands formed a big part of my life for many years.

So it’s easy for me to draw on these experiences to inform my novels (and no, I never lost my kid overboard, but no parent sails without entertaining these harrowing thoughts and mentally preparing for them!) Disruption by Design, my most recent release (January 1, 2018) is the first time I’ve used my sailing experience in a book. And more than than, it captures many aspects of living on the West Coast, including marinas, ocean views, old houses and living on the Gulf Islands.

 

 

 

 

 

Daydreaming and Imaginary Friends

In my case, I love travel and adventure because the experience of new places and sights and smells and flavours stimulates my imagination. I can’t really travel or engage in an experience without a part of my mind wandering off and creating imaginary events and people inspired by that moment. Parallel universes are spiralling off in every direction all the time. That’s just the way I’m built. When I was a kid, they called it “daydreaming”. Or “airhead,” LOL.

Fortunately for my readers, and for me, I’ve learned to direct my imaginings in between the covers of books, and learned to find just the right words to describe the movies playing in my head, and how to structure the stories so that they play out in a way that’s entertaining and satisfying– I hope!

While my books are not about me, per se, they are certainly informed by my own life. In my series, Having it All, women who are very committed to their careers struggle in different ways to balance their passion and yearning for authenticity, expression and independence with their need to find love, companionship, family and a sense of belonging. This was for me, and I think for many women of my generation and beyond, a difficult struggle. One that never seems to end. I guess you’d call this a recurring theme in my writing.

Balancing Life and Work, Self and Others

In Disruption by Design, Alexa is a women who is really having a hard time reconciling these different aspects of a woman’s life. She starts out believing that commitment to one arena means sacrifice in another, and gradually learns to find balance and put her own stamp on a life she can truly call her own.

This scene falls close to the midpoint of the story, and represents a change of direction for Alexa, who’s just quit her job, for Bruce, who must come to terms with his self-worth, for their relationship, which moves to a new place, and for the book as a whole, as the plot, tone and setting make a radical change at this point.

A Change of Direction

This excerpt ends with the words, “Coming About!”

In sailing terms, this means changing direction, via a tack or as Wikipedia defines it:

“Tacking or coming about is a sailing maneuver by which a sailing vessel, whose desired course is into the wind, turns its bow toward the wind so that the direction from which the wind blows changes from one side to the other, allowing progress in the desired direction.”

In common usage, it also means “to come to pass, to happen.”

It seems to me in both cases to suggest forward progress and change, whether in a sailboat or a person’s life. Originally I intended the book to be titled Coming About. Later I thought it was rather too common a phrase to grab attention, but it still encapsulates the idea of the book, or really any story about any character who is at a turning point, a crossroads in their life where choices must be made about future directions. Where one leaves the past behind and boldly heads off in a new direction.

That’s a lot for two little words to mean, but that’s half the fun of writing. Playing with words and their meanings, trying to convey complex or deep ideas with the the right choices and arrangements.

I think my love of the written word has surely got to be one of the reasons I write. Why I learned to write in the first place, and continue to love the process as much as the product. It can be hard at times. Often an idea, image or feeling that we experience emerges from imagination or memory and their are no words that immediately come to mind to capture or express it. That’s the part of writing that’s hard work, and the reason you so often find writers sitting and staring out the window.

To read the Book Bubble excerpt, go to my Bublish page. Scroll to the second version of Disruption by Design and look for the latest #bookbubble.

Are you a sailor? Have you ever been on a sailboat? And are you drawn to either familiar or exotic new experiences in the fiction that you read? Leave a comment below and let me know!

My One-Bag European Capsule Wardrobe

Travelling Light

As you may know, I love to travel. This summer I spent just over three weeks in Europe with my family, sightseeing and visiting friends. Early on, we decided we were going to travel light, and take one carry-on size suitcase each. No checked bags allowed.

Before I left, I spent more time than I ever had planning and preparing my wardrobe to ensure this was both possible and successful. I consulted stylish and well-travelled friends, and I researched others’ capsule wardrobes on Pinterest, creating a board full of inspiration and ideas. Check it out here if you want to see what others have done, and what kind of looks I favour (Hint: I’m not a formal dresser.) (Scroll down past the men with beards to see what I mean)

I tried to use as many pieces from my existing wardrobe as possible. The idea wasn’t to spend a fortune to make this work. Once I got going, however, I found there were a few key pieces that I needed to acquire. In the end these included: a new pair of stretchy skinny jeans, two scarves, a thigh-length cotton cardigan, two summer sundresses, a sleeveless cotton shirt, new sneakers and new sandals. I got most pieces on sale however, so it wasn’t a huge outlay of cash. I also love the pieces and continue to use them now that I’m home.

The List

The final capsule included only fifteen pieces (yes, 15!) not counting shoes and necessities. These included:

M A Clarke Scott Author capsule wardrobe jeans and jean jacket5 Bottoms, 6 Tops, 2 Dresses &2 Layers:

Skinny jeans

Black leggings

Thin ecru chinos

Black dress shorts (worn only once)

White t-shirt

Grey striped t-shirt

Blue t-shirt

Black camisole

Sleeveless floral blouse

Sleeveless tunic length shirt

Long-sleeve white t-shirt

Red, white and blue mini-print floral sleeveless sundress

Blue with white floral pattern sleeveless sundress

Black and white striped cotton cardigan

Jean jacket

Shoes:

White Keds

White sandals

Red ballet flats

 

Necessities

Pyjamas

7 pair undies

Toiletries

 

 

 

Accessories:

Light grey scarf with white polka dots

Mixed blue, red, white, yellow abstract large scarf

Navy cotton belt

Sunglasses

Handbag (blue and tan)

Tote (blue)

Mini-umbrella (pink & white)

Swimsuit (never used)

 

Sample Photos

M A Clarke Scott Author Capsule wardrobe Jean Jacket with Scarf

M A Clarke Scott Author Capsule wardrobe cardigan with leggings

M A Clarke Scott Author Capsule wardrobe Chinos with cardigan and t-shirt

M A Clarke Scott Author Capsule wardrobe blouse with jean jacket

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

M A Clarke Scott Author Capsule wardrobe blouse with shorts

M A Clarke Scott Author Capsule wardrobe sleeveless blouse and leggingsM A Clarke Scott Author Capsule wardrobe t-shirt, cardigan, scarf and leggingsM A Clarke Scott Author Capsule wardrobe sundress and cardigan

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As you can see from the photos, typical outfits included:

jeans, t-shirt with jean jacket and scarf – Keds

sundress with jacket and scarf – sandals or flats

leggings and shirt with cardigan – Keds

chinos with blouse – Keds

 

M A Clarke Scott Author Capsule wardrobe sleeveless blouse and chinos

M A Clarke Scott Author Capsule wardrobe blouse with leggings

M A Clarke Scott Author Capsule wardrobe leggings with cardigan and t-shirt

M A Clarke Scott Author Capsule wardrobe sundress with scarf

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Most importantly, I always knew what to put together to make an ensemble because it was preplanned. I had something both comfortable and appropriate for every occasion, from travel to museum days, to walking to dinners out. I had to go all day without a change of clothes, most days, and transitioned to restaurants without a problem. I had to do a small laundry wash only twice in over three weeks. And I rarely wore exactly the same combination twice, so I was never bored with my choices.

“Your dress is lovely, Madame.”

 

M A Clarke Scott Author Capsule wardrobe Jean Jacket with Sundress & Scarf

One of the smartest pieces of advice given to me beforehand by a well-seasoned traveller friend (Thanks Natasha. Mwah!) was that, however casually we dress here on the West Coast of Canada, with our yoga gear, shorts and fleece, this simply wouldn’t cut it in the cosmopolitan cities of London and Paris. Instead, she suggested sundresses for warm summer days.

I took this advice (thus the new purchases) and these were some of my favourite ensembles. With sandals or flats, optional sweater or jacket, and a scarf in my bag in case I got chilly, I felt like the best-dressed tourist around. I was cooler than I would have been in shorts (after all, there’s not much under a sundress and you can catch a breeze by the River Seine. Even better, I felt more like a stylish local than a tourist when dressed like this. I even got stopped by a well-dressed woman while touring the Ste. Chapelle cathedral on the Ile-de-la-Cite in Paris, to have my lovely floral sundress complimented (en Francais, bien sur.) Trust me when I say that this was an unprecedented event in my life.

 

Stylish and Practical

M A Clarke Scott Author Capsule wardrobe pink umbrella, leggings with cardigan and t-shirt

A second recommendation was to skip the rain jacket in favour of a super-light, compact umbrella in a light summer colour. I chose a pale pink-and-white flowered one from The Umbrella Shop in Vancouver, cheerful, affordable, durable and guaranteed for life. This I could carry on iffy days and whip out for a shower, then tuck away. It also doubled as a parasol when caught standing in line in the hot sun at the Louvre museum.

Everything did indeed fit into one bag, including shoes and toiletries. The ease of movement, speed and convenience of not having to wait around for checked baggage was a pure delight. (Cue visual: flight attendant striding jauntily across the airport concourse with scarf flying behind, and the attendant big grin of a sophisticated world traveller.) Aside from our main overseas flight, we took a short flight across the English Channel, as well as two long-distance train rides and numerous Tube, Metro and city bus rides to and fro. There were also elevators and staircases, doorways and foyers that were breezed through painlessly. I highly recommend taking this extra effort to prepare for travelling light. I’m obviously a convert and will never again over-pack and suffer from too much baggage and wardrobe indecision while travelling.

 

Have You Tried This?

I hope you enjoyed this recap of my travelling capsule wardrobe experiment. If you’ve ever packed a capsule wardrobe for a trip, comment below and tell me how it went. Do you have any tricks or tips to share?

 

Kindle Scout Campaign

By the way, since returning home, I’ve been hard at work completing my forthcoming new novel, Disruption by Design. It’s spending the next month on Kindle Scout. Click here to check it out and if you like it, please Nominate it. And then share the link with other avid readers, too.

Thank you!

 

The Town Mouse and the Country Mouse

After seven long weeks in a small rural island community over the summer, the past week was spent on a quick return trip to the city, ostensibly to attend a friend’s wedding, but also to take care of a hectic round of shopping and errands in preparation for the start of the school year. The experience was so overwhelmingly busy and exhausting that I didn’t even open my laptop, let alone have time to sit and write a blog post. I did have a few ideas, but they were swept from my head as quickly as they settled there (thus the dead air space here.)

 

Illustration of The Town Mouse and The Country Mouse

TOWN MOUSE VERSUS COUNTRY MOUSE

The one idea that has stayed with me throughout is the contrasts, naturally enough, between city and country living, which brought to mind the moral tale of Aesop’s fable, The Town Mouse and the Country Mouse. For those that need a quick refresher, in the original fable, a sophisticated city mouse visits his friend/cousin in the country and partakes of a rustic meal, which is not to his taste. Boastful of the benefits of urban living, he invites his country cousin to the city to enjoy its opulent pleasures, and once there, their sumptuous meal is interrupted by dogs, who give chase. Escaping, the country mouse returns home, concluding that he prefers the peace and security of the country to the stresses of the city. After the past week, I can surely relate.

 

CITY LIFE

My first foray into academic specialization was in fact as an urbanist – I studied urban geography and sociology as an undergraduate. As such, I studied the origin of cities and towns, their patterns of growth, land uses, and the behavior and artifacts of urban dwellers. Clearly it is no surprise that people first came together to live in numbers, and behind walls, for reasons of safety (a reason which is not so true of today’s cities) and of course to conduct commerce (more true than ever), and I suppose for society, although that perhaps was an offshoot of the cities themselves. The more people and activity there was in cities, the more needs for goods and services emerged, as well as the maintenance of infrastructure, and so of course cities also became the place one went in search of employment. Not surprisingly, my undergraduate studies corresponded with my early twenties, and a move from a smaller city to a large city with a university, and a stage of life that was stimulus-seeking. The city had great appeal, both in theoretical and in real senses. I think that the city really is the environment best suited to the stretching, shaping and testing of young minds, not unlike the tempering of iron on a hot forge.

 

Map of Old Florence

Map of Old Florence

DIVERSITY AND CULTURE

As cities emerged, with large concentrations of people, they came to represent not only population density, but population diversity (for of course people came from far and wide, and cities have always been magnets for immigration, where newcomers to a country can always find like-others to support them and their transition to a new place.) People brought with them their various ways, including skills, food, language, music, religions, costumes and culture. And so anyone living in a city was much more likely to be exposed to this diversity and its corresponding excitement as well as the cross-fertilization that results. Large numbers and varieties of people living together and conducting business also leads to new experiences that we associate with urban living today: fine dining, great shopping and the arts (music, theatre, galleries, museums, educational opportunities, culture, and of course the political life that urban living of necessity engenders). These things become objects and industries in themselves which are self-perpetuating, leading to the kinds of innovation that we associate with cities.

 

GROWING OLD ALONE

Skipping over a career as an architect, the next opportunity I had to think deeply about city life versus country life came in my iteration as a Gerontologist, during which time I had the chance to design and teach a graduate class in Rural Aging. Despite decades of urbanization, there are and will always be some people who live in rural and agrarian settings. And eventually these people grow old and frail. In brief, the two principal challenges of growing old in a rural setting are transportation and isolation. For these reasons, housing options for older people are better when they are clustered and closer to services and supports. Around the same time I was inspired by some of research being done by some Dutch colleagues that involved surveying and layered mapping (via GPS) of self-selecting (by choice or default) aging populations in city neighbourhoods, appropriate housing, services, and nodes and pathways, both concrete and imagined. I was unsuccessful at that time in securing funding to replicate that research in a Canadian context, but I was a great believer at that time that growing older in a supportive community-integrated (as opposed to a segregated designed institutional) setting was the way to go. I guess I still do.

 

Super Mom illustrationSUPER-MOM, ANYONE?

The two roles I’ve adopted since those days that affect my views on urban versus rural living are important ones: that of parent and of writer. Interestingly, in retrospect (as I now have a teenager) I think raising children in a rural or small town setting makes much more sense. Not only is it less expensive, but the two aspects of parenting in the city that loomed large in my experience were Programming and Chauffeuring, both of which are related to the real and perceived risks (as well as the real or perceived opportunities) of modern urban living. Both of which suck up a great deal of time, energy and resources. And despite the enviable way that some mythical parents seem to do their job, my life never afforded the time, energy or inclination to partake of those benefits of the city, such as fine dining, fashionable shopping or engaging in arts and culture, for myself or my child.

 

For me, as I think it does for most, family life revolved around mac and cheese and chicken fingers, soccer and piano lessons, and suburban mall outlets like Gap, Old Navy and The Bay, from which a never-ending succession of shorts and shoes and socks in larger and larger sizes must be procured. The few times my husband and I attempted to hang on to our previous, child-free, yuppie lifestyle, by finding and paying for an expensive babysitter and attending the symphony or theatre, and going to a nice restaurant, we invariably talked wistfully about our son all evening and fell asleep halfway through the performance. Why not just embrace the fact of your stage of life and make it easier on everyone? Forget about fashion, fine dining and fine art for a few years and give yourself a break. Let the kids climb trees and run barefoot in a field, let them have rabbits, and don’t even think about the spit up or spaghetti sauce on your smock. Everyone will be much happier and healthier, trust me.

 

George Bernard Shaw and his writing shack

George Bernard Shaw in his writing shack

PEACE AND SOLITUDE

As a writer, of course there are some benefits to urban living, such as education, support groups and writers’ conferences, but really most of these benefits can be realized on-line these days, and in fact most of them are (except conferences, but then why not take a trip once or twice a year?) The things that busy urban life do NOT provide very well are peace and solitude: two things that writers need in large measure. This is likely why writers have traditionally taken retreats, or rented seaside cottages or secluded cabins in the woods. So they can actually get the writing done!

As we head into the last week of summer vacation, and I’m back in the country, I almost dread the ultimate return to the city for the start of the school year. This summer hasn’t been a very productive one for me as a writer (other than blogging), as there have been other, more pressing issues, such as my health, to deal with. But still I can imagine how much I could get done if only I could stay. I can almost see myself going for solitary rural walks, watching the trees turn colours overhead, and breathing the bracing fresh country air as I prepare for long fall days bent over the computer, fire crackling, funneling my creative energy into my writing and editing.

image of an old typewriter in a meadow

ASIDE: In my meanderings I found this lovely essay by Tom Hanks in the NYT Sunday Review about his love and obsession with typewriters. Read it and smile, and tell me you don’t want to run out and buy an old typewriter.

BALANCING THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS?

Instead, I’ll be heading back to the hectic, highly scheduled, socially demanding, time-gobbling, over-stimulating urban environment that always seems to act in opposition to those things that best serve my writing. Peace and solitude. I’m wondering if there is a way to have the best of both. Of somehow enjoying the best that the city has to offer, and still hanging on to the lifestyle that nurtures and supports my energy, my health and my writing. As I grow older, I think that there may in fact be benefits to growing older in the country. At a certain age we have accumulated enough experiences, have tempered our inner steel sufficiently, and have tired of the stimulation. In other words, we’ve been there, done that. Now it’s time for rest and reflection. Attributes that serve the writer well. But of course, one cannot reflect upon that which one has not experienced. So a time for every season, as they say.

 

Being a late bloomer in so many ways, by the time I have the freedom to retire to the country to pursue the quiet, solitary lifestyle of a (rural) writer, I’ll be too old and feeble to drive a car or carry my groceries, and then I’ll have to start looking for a supportive urban neighbourhood to make my elder years tolerable.

So what are you? A town mouse or a country mouse, and why? What stage of life are you in and what about your environment makes that better or worse? And finally, do you own a typewriter?

 

Living with Chronic Pain

Practicing Forbearance

512px-Hatha_yoga_child_poseIt was too hot today to accomplish very much, including exercise or stretching. Since I’ve been having back trouble, I find that starting the day with a good dose of yoga, stretching and special exercises makes the likelihood of a relatively pain free and mobile day much more likely, although no guarantee. Consequently, today I didn’t do so well. I shuffled around, dragging one leg and did a few things, mostly trying to find a comfortable position to stand or sit in and spending the day talking about the projects we will do–someday, like pave a new terrace by the house, mulch the flowerbeds, build a deck by the pond, clean and organize the workshop, replace or beautify the shed. At one point I even dragged a measuring tape around and took down a few numbers on a very bad sketch. As a person who has always been full of ambition and energy, I’d much rather just DO the jobs than spend countless hours talking and planning. Some planning is always necessary, of course, but I’m much more inclined to jump in. I love the feeling of accomplishment.

I also wasn’t feeling inspired to blog. There just wasn’t very much in my head, beyond the heat and the jab of sharp pain in my spine.

So I thought this was a good time to talk about the NAME of my blog, i.e. Paramita. I can’t remember what I was researching a while back, something about Buddhism, and I found this definition on Wikipedia:

Paramita

Pāramitā (Pāli; Sanskrit; Devanagari: पारमिता) or pāramī (Pāli) is “perfection” or “completeness.”[1] In Buddhism, the pāramitās refer to the perfection or culmination of certain virtues. In Buddhism, these virtues are cultivated as a way of purification, purifying karma and helping the aspirant to live an unobstructed life, while reaching the goal of enlightenment.

In the Pāli canon’s Buddhavaṃsa[3] the Ten Perfections (dasa pāramiyo) are (original terms in Pāli):

1. Dāna pāramī : generosity, giving of oneself

2. Sīla pāramī : virtue, morality, proper conduct

3. Nekkhamma pāramī : renunciation

4. Paññā pāramī : transcendental wisdom, insight

5. Viriya (also spelled vīriya) pāramī : energy, diligence, vigour, effort

6. Khanti pāramī : patience, tolerance, forbearance, acceptance, endurance

7. Sacca pāramī : truthfulness, honesty

8. Adhiṭṭhāna (adhitthana) pāramī : determination, resolution

9. Mettā pāramī : loving-kindness

10. Upekkhā (also spelled upekhā) pāramī : equanimity, serenity

These seem to me to be pretty admirable goals to live by and ones that suit my current world view as I grow older. Clearly Number 5, energy and effort was not on the books. You’ll see that Number 6 is “Patience, Tolerance, Forbearance, Acceptance, Endurance.” So today I gave myself permission to work on this virtue.  It meant getting through the day without letting the frustration or anger surface. Just accepting that this was the kind of day I was going to have, and letting it be. Tomorrow is another day. Hopefully a more productive one.

Do you live with chronic pain, or some other situation that requires the cultivation of forbearance? Pull up a chair and share.