BLOGGING IS HARD
I’ve been trying to transition from an occasional and erratic blogger into a regular blogger for some time now, and toward that end have read books and taken classes, such as Kristen Lamb‘s Are You There Blog It’s Me Writer, an her WANA Tribe blogging class, and most recently, moved to a new domain name and server here at www.maryannclarkescott.com, but the actual act of blogging regularly has yet to manifest. Not for lack of trying. I sort of have a plan.
But last night I had an epiphany about why it’s not happening, and I realize it’s because when I contemplate regular blogging, I experience a monumental anxiety attack akin to that one might feel as one steps up to a podium in a large auditorium filled with 2000 people, all eyes trained on me, waiting expectantly for my insightful and brilliant words. GAK!
Or, and this is even more telling, the way I feel just before I go to a large party. Or even before that, standing in my undies in front of my closet at home deciding what to wear to said party. (I’m obviously not the first person to draw this analogy. See Nathan Bransford here.) What! you might be thinking. What’s up with that?
I DON’T DO WELL AT PARTIES
Well… I don’t like parties, not big ones anyway. I like planning them and throwing them. I just don’t like being at them. I’ve never liked being with large groups of people. I become the epitomy of the nerdy wallflower. I’m painfully shy and socially awkward. I forget to introduce myself or others, and even forget the names of people I know well. I feel terribly self-conscious, gravitate to the buffet and overeat, gravitate to the bar and drink too much. Once I have a couple of drinks, then I loosen up and overcompensate. I talk too much, say stupid things and put my foot in my mouth, inadvertently saying all the wrong things, or failing in the social niceties. This immfediately leads to guilt and self-loathing. And who needs that? I don’t care for dancing. I find most conversations at parties are inane and I desperately want to escape. The boredom overtakes my self-consciousness and I become surly, dreaming of the easy chair and good book that await me at home.
Gosh this makes me sound like a nasty ogre. Even an anti-social one. But put me with a group of 2 or 5 or 8 and I’m completely different. I enjoy people, and I enjoy myself. I listen well, am interested in people and what they are doing and have to say. I relax and tell funny stories, sometimes even attempt lame jokes. I like to feed people and take care of them and entertain them. And I especially like to share ideas. Introverts are not necessarily loners, as I’m sure many will attest.
DROP BY FOR A GLASS OF LEMONADE
And yet I’ve learned that of all the various social medium, the blogosphere is the place where I feel the most comfortable, and I’d like to have a place here to call home. Clearly, the solution is that MY BLOG will not be a big party. Instead, this will be my metaphorical kitchen table, my sundeck, my garden, my neighbourhood coffee shop. A place where my good friends come by for a glass of lemonade or a cup of tea and chew the fat awhile. On good days we can share triumphs and accomplishments, tell funny stories and share dreams. On bad days we can complain of our aches and pains or gripe about the difficult people in our lives, confide our worries, disappointments and frustrations. But good or bad, we can find community with people like ourselves, and share our life experience, our wisdom and our expertise.
I hope you’ll decide this is a good place to drop in one in awhile, and that when you come you’ll find interesting like-minded people, and topics being discussed, a sympathetic ear, or even a shoulder to cry on. I’m also hoping this new paradigm will make it a more comfortable place for me to hang out, too.
Tell me what you think? Is social media more like a big party or an intimate discussion between acquaintances? Do you think different platforms (FB, Twitter, Blogs, etc.) are more like one or the other? And do you have the same problems I do or do you think I’m nuts?